How many zeros?

It's an unfortunate reality of infertility that much of the decisions to be made are largely based on cost. I never thought that money would play such an integral role in my decision to become a parent.

I have extensively researched adoption. Since the adoption laws in our state are horrible, we know we would adopt out of state, which adds significant costs because we'd need to stay in that state until ICPC clears which could be several weeks. If there are any complications with the TPR, the stay could be longer. We've estimated that adoption would cost us approximately $30,000, give or take $5-10,000. The great part about adoption is that we know, in the end, there will be a baby. However, the sad reality is that the baby is almost certainly exposed to nicotine in utero and possibly other drugs, extensive stress, and the chances are high that the birthmother will not have a diet rich in essential vitamins and minerals. That is very difficult for us to accept. As much as I love Cold Stone, I know I wouldn't be putting anything in my body that wasn't organic, vegetarian food if I was pregnant. I don't even allow people to smoke cigarettes around my pets, I certainly am not comfortable with my baby being trapped in a bubble filled with second hand smoke for 9 months.....I digress, I'm off topic. So, the point is, we estimate the costs to be $30,000, of which a possible $10,000 is "at risk", meaning if the birthmother changes her mind prior to the TPR we will have lost that money.

Surrogacy in the states is priced out of most people's range. Since the insurance companies are quickly catching on, most insurance clauses now exclude surrogacy which means the IP (intended parent) is responsible for buying the surrogate an insurance policy (the cost is unreal, since you're buying insurance for a soon-t0-be pregnant woman) or paying for the prenatal, labor & delivery out of pocket (anyone ever looked at their hospital bill before?). So, surrogacy in India is an option that is possibly affordable for us. I emailed one of the clinics today (to remain nameless at this point) to get a breakdown of their fee structure. Here it is:

Stage I (A+B) $ 8,900
(Surrogate booking; Agreement; IVF / ICSI procedure; Pregnancy test)
Surrogate investigations, preparation, endometrial priming & booking
Legal (agreement) charges
Follicular monitoring, Procedural (IVF / ICSI) charges, Hospital stay, semen freezing, ET, surrogate care, pregnancy test

Stage II $ 7,900
(Antenatal care; Surrogate medications, investigations, special care, special accommodation, child care, diet, lost wages, Insurance, surrogate clothing)
First trimester (3 months)
Second trimester (3 months)
Third trimester (3 months)
Stage III $ 5,900
(Delivery; Post natal surrogate care; Visa assistance)
Delivery process (normal / caesarean), birth certificate
Visa assistance, DNA testing (from UK Lab)
Surrogate care (2 months) (Medications, stay, care, diet, lost wages)

Optional
Indian Egg Donor $ 2,950
(Egg donor selection; investigation; booking; fees; medications; egg pick up)
Egg donor selection, recruitment and booking
Legal (agreement) charges, agency program charges
Egg donor investigation, stimulation, monitoring & medications

Caucasian Egg Donor $ 13,550
(Egg donor selection; investigation; booking; fees; medications; egg pick up)
Egg donor selection, recruitment and booking, flight, hotel stay, food
Legal (agreement) charges, Nurture, agency program charges and ED compensation
Egg donor investigation, stimulation, monitoring & medications

To try once would be approximately $12,000 in medical costs (we need an egg donor and would use an Indian egg donor) and the travel costs to India. My preliminary research estimates the airfare to be approximately $1,500 per person and hotel accommodations to be around $300 a night. We would need to stay in Mumbai about 7 days and both of us would need to be present to sign the contract. Considering the other costs of visas, transportation when in Mumbai, food, etc. I think it will cost about $20,000 to attempt pregnancy once. That's a lot of "at risk" money. I believe it is possible to freeze some sperm in India, if the first attempt does not succeed, they could use the frozen sperm and another fresh cycle with an egg donor and we wouldn't have to return to Mumbai. Or, if we have frozen embryos left we could try a FET. I'm waiting to hear back from the clinic to see what the options and costs are if pregnancy does not occur the first time.