What am I thinking?

For the past few months I've been communicating with M, a fabulous woman who wants to be our TS. I've been scared to articulate these thoughts outloud, this all seems too good too be true. We've discussed all the major issues that can arise in TS and we're very much on the same page. So, we decided yesterday to officially announce our 'match' on a surrogacy forum that we both frequent. So, it's official. I'm thrilled, estatic, and trying to force myself not to be scared. She knows were not ready to start until next year, which gives us ample time to build a friendship & work on improving dh's sperm. We had another appointment at the urologist yesterday, we're doing a few tests to rule somethings out and then we'll be starting dh on clomid to try to improve his sperm counts. We have another SA next week too. The clomid takes about 6 months to see if its improving or not, so thankfully we have time.

The title of this post-what am I thinking-is because someone announced on another wesbite that Udder Covers was offering a promo for free udder covers (nursing blanket covers), all you have to do is pay shipping. The covers are normally $35 & I just got them for $7.95. I ordered 1 pink & 1 blue. What the hell am I thinking? We're more than a year away from TTC and I just ordered a nursing cover? I'm truly trying to force myself into optimism...I guess this is one way of doing it. I just need to rememeber to breathe. This is a lot.